Its very hard for me to write this message and took 2 month with agony and flails to come here…
I would like to talk bit about myself and story of Bluelysian …Thats me Nihal and my smallest son… he is crazy for condors had been drawing blueprints since 3 years old …
For help people who seek for TL DR… : Nope suck it… its 8 ■■■■■■■ page !
I always loved to help and support people since I was a child…With a mom chronically ill and need constant care I was on charge for caring her house and family along with my school left me only 1-2 hours in my room untill I faint to sleep… Those were the years my gaming adventure started…
With my teachers and school psychologists guidiance I have choose to study Psychologhy… I guess I was one of those lucky people who in love with their job and never felt like “working” but live in it …And since coming from wealthy family I never need to earn money so I just spent all for the people who need it
1 year after graduation my work routine drastically changed with 1999 Golcuk earthquake end up with over 17.000 people died and hundreds of thousands people lost their homes… I have lost many beloved ones and if I had been sleeping in my bed I might be dead too…
This officially changed my life before and after due to lack of personal and educated staff , UNICEF formed up a team with some of the best Trauma specialist in the world… from Israel, Norway, USA… And after a hard and challenging year they did picked some of us to grow specialist to teach and supervise other specialist for 3 years.…
My knees into mud… working in tent camps and through unspeakable pain and morbid smelling ruins… limited clean water… feeling guilty even about having a shower… weekends and until late night hours…
Guess what I have been doing just to relieve myself tiny bit and find my way to sleep?.. those years Diablo we my mate pretty much everyday 1-1.5 hours… It is really hard to share how it feels constantly live in this conditions surrounded by death and loss and grief for years… but only one thing I can say… Takes lot of love and compassion for the humanity .
Last 10 years of my career passed by from one disaster to another one… school shootings, bus accidents, suicides, what I do was scouting the situation, decide about the needs and suitable approach and strategy , forming interference teams, lead and supervise them as well as joining to process… As well as travel a lot to grow other psychologists for crise interference and train leaders for effective crise management … And same me …come home and play World of Warcraft… the game also I met my husband…the man convinced me to merry at the age of 33. Father of my 3 kids and todays CEO in one of those null aliances… and a carebear!
I have never been kinda person who fallow every rule… definitely not a neat obeying white collar…Out of lines… Pure child in spirit, look like bit unhinged… Bobbly, cheerfull and definitely not look and act like someone in my position … lol caused so man people didn’t take me serious in first second or not believe until I begin to steer things and get into action…
But I always lead to serve human . mindfull and act on passion and compassion… With knowledge and understanding…i have been fair, honest and straight . And I was the one always they call when ■■■■ “really” rains down…
I have been rewarded and honored both national and international lvl many times over these WOW years…
i just did what i love and i do love to help people… so yhea… if you think im kind of sick maniac.because of things i did in game or out of the game and carry to the ridiculous points … this was also give you bit insight about me i havent act different in game then real life so. yhea i am Maniac … and im crazy good at that… !
My EVE adventure started in 2010 … (actually 1994 lol didn’t work) … yes mining… My husband was Danish and I had to move to Danmark… I have been pregnant and constantly falling asleep while mining… well give birth to 3 babies in 4 years lol … was pretty productive … I was about to stop playing this stupid game and something miraculously happened :
I got GANKED !.. I have been sleeping peacefull sory mining near by my husbands hulk … someone come and gang on my retriever… I have been furious… I didn’t understand anything why… what happened ??? wtf ? how he can do that. ? what ship he has been flying … and most important question is HOW CAN I KILL HIM ?!
They told me that instead of wasting time on these and looking at fits and ship map just get another retriever and already made the amount you lost… you are just loosing time you cant do anything ! they said…
I did give a second try and I got ganked again… and they told me the same thing… Well… I was totally out of my mind and this was all UNACCEPTABLE for me… I begin to dig bit more… learn low sec null sec… learned PVP exist … and ships and whole fricking new world there !
Here I would like to stand up and salute CODE. For the name of all suicide gankers. Thank you guys \o/
You were the reason I first met with PVP and eye opening experience. And if I have been around for years that was the breaking point…
After that event I have get rid of my everything …Bought a merlin fit it as stupid as it gets ( of course I thought it was the best ) Went to low sec to live there… Next couple of months I died over here over there constantly … everytime I die I have convo and asked what happened why did I die… what should I do ?.. and there was many beautifull pilots who give their time and answer my questions…
And one day I hit Red vs Blue …
2 corporation … who share same community but also in war against each other… Not for profit nothing but embracing this games beautifull PVP mechanics and a open community that accepts you with open arms without a question… Love the idea…
When I started RVB was definitely not new player friendly… the second I undock from station there was half of AT team in front of me with loads of veterans… I had zero skills zero understanding … they killed me like mosquito again and again… but … the ones who killed me from Red Federation… also they begin to train and guide me … I always love to say this …
RvB was the place where you can find your best friends behind the enemy lines…
For everybody knows me … also knows I had been all about RVB all these years… RVB is itself a playstyle in Eve an as unique concept also capable to host all kind of players … people who never like to use comms… people who never want to give their API ESI… homeless people of New Eden … Bored null people of New Eden … unhinged, detached, loyal, not loyal, trolls, full of love full of resentments…
Incredibly colourful, incredibly passionate but also that much unforgiven as play style that you can hunt and get hunted All over New Eden with no safe zones you can take refuge, No restrictions at gates or around stations … It was savage!
IT was unique life style and I loved and cared every each of those people even I had been bantering, murdering and screwing the light out of them in space…
I LOVED THAT COMMUNITY WITH ALL COLOURS AND SHADES!
In my heart… what was just one of many things what makes RvB special . I had been able to talk in community meeting as 3 days old in… and they listen me … I fight with chairmen and screwed him tight and he just smiled back at me …he hasn’t done anything to solve the problem yhea. He listened but he haven’t kicked me or told me who are you talking to ?.. I love it…
In 2017 I had been progressing for my diploma equality in Danmark to be able to work …Meanwhile I have begin to work for Red Cross and helping people in a special homeless center where chronic and after operation patiences have care and treatment … these years also was the years RvB begin to derail… And I had been the crazy ■■■■■ telling Management and taking fight to everybody to stop ongoing disaster… I truly believed RvB spirit and I didn’t want to see it become just any other low sec FW corporation or pirate corporation … there was already soo many of them in New Eden … But there was no other RvB !
Away from my country and friends I know over 20 years… I had been feeling too much alone…The way of RvB s existence and thrive was the only fit for my spirit on long run … I never act on profit in my life… I loved PvP yes but I never killed with vengeance or revenge or any other hard feelings … or gain anything… Beating myself everyday to get better at PVP and enhance my knowledge and understanding about PVP mechanics was what I have find in RvB in many cases mutually shared feeling with other pilots … And I love this spirit!
One side I have actually met so many AMAZING people through EvE online… I invited for dinner at our home we visit them and meet up many of them in 5 different country and 3 different continentals… 2 of our friends from WOW years ( one of them mine one my husbands friend ) meet and married .
After my struggle with RVB management in 2017 when realization sinked that I cant stop ongoing situation I have left RvB… ( nope after all those ■■■■ they haven’t kicked me even ) .i have created 1 man corp and wardecked whole RvB… (AED UNIT FOR RVB corp name you can check the description I do explain the reasons there ) 1 week I hold all alone against RvB give my light hearted good fights get murdered talk to people … I have created Blue’s Shameless spy alt and applied to Blue republic… got refused but Sunshine Red federation CEO beloved one Nitro Oxide accepted my spy alt to Red side … was hilarious Lost of love Nitro I will miss you man <3
After 1 week of 1 man war… I have create a solo PVP character and begin to muffle around … I had two alternative in my head… I might fit and find some peace… … Black Rebel Rifter Club and Tuskers … After complete the requirements applied both … Accepted by both…but before join I give it a trial run … The second I join tuskers comms first time… Reaction was… ARE you Bluelysiann ?? well that was the moment I realized there is no life for me and no hide … left swiftly and my BRRC life started…
I would like to also thank to Sem Skord and all BRRC for giving this sad ■■■■ a safe home and relieve in my hard days… Salute!
Well I fly around alone for months I think… looking for fights roaming for hours to find 2-3 good fights…
Missing old days… must admit I had been lazy as ■■■■… so get used to find my fights hot and ready the second I undock… careless and happy…
When RvB totally leave the tradition and legacy and begin to act as FW corp… Me and Kethen T’val retrieved into our old corp The Persuaders … And We committed to build a new Mutual war concept corp into New Eden and bring the tradition back to life… That was a great challenge… we didn’t have name… many new players doesn’t know even what is mutual war concept… Many Old traditional RVB ers already left and quit the game … the ones who still playing find a new homes… and it was incredible challenge to get this project off from the ground …
Those days Persuaders are todays idea father of the Red vs Blue Flight Academy… Yes we begin to grow new pilots into PVP with that mindset … We didn’t have the name … but we had spirit and tradition in our hearts… When we grow enough and decided to dvide in two corporations and begin to thrive as 2 corps. Nitro oxide reach out to me and told me they are ready for handover RVB …
When I took over RvB… I had been sitting all alone … in corp channels… discord was dead… no one had been talking… writing… Nearly no assets than we inherit from nitro oxide and shitloads of Rifters Nikolai handover… Some Assets in Ichoria trapped in final liminality … sometimes someone come online and ask questions about FW and how to exchange loyalty points ect… which I have no clue… dead zkillboard…
Silence….
From this point… its very hard to explain events and happenings… without giving names of people … SO I will try to explain it different way…
As I have shared a project with CCP and also subject of player speaker submission for the last fanfest ( cancelled due to corona )
“Instant Gratification and Tackling Risk Averse Pilot Attitudes in Eve Online”
RvB was not only point of my interest because of its spirit but also I had seen the great potential in it … After I talk several CCP in Amsterdam I did get a clear picture about some of the serious challenges of game and CCP…
Instant gratification… risk averse pilot behaviours… early and late stage player retention issues… tipped over balance behalf of grinders but not PVPers. RvB+Academy model has a great potential actually and this model can be develop , adapt and use by many different aliances and corporations in their own context… Help them to increase their retention rates, support community and serve for healthier community…
MY problem was… : I have officially used my education and experience around my expertise to produce in-game solutions suitable to sandbox concept and balancing eco system for CCPs biggest challenges… I have talk many of them at invasion tour to get a better picture about their challenges… Bu I expect a lot from them I think … since they don’t even have a proper social integration politics…
I love this game A LOT! … there is many reasons actually I can explain why its that much intellectually stimulating for me… and it’s a great playground also too…
RvB was my home… I did tried in the past homing somewherelese… but didn’t work…
What I had been dreaming … envisioning… was giving home all elders when/if they come back to eve one day… I just wanted to get into my executioner and dicking around like on days… I have been waiting for ahonourable leader who can take over Red federation and Blue Republic. Someone who share the same dreams someone with honour and descency…
9 Month I “serve” to RVB as Chairmen… I took it from dead on the ice and with community we bring it here today…
I had been always kinda chicken mother… I don’t refuse or regret… I have worked 7 days 12 hours …For building assets I have liquidized Bluelsyian greatly and also used over 6000 euro to build up RVB assets and finance all Red vs Blue Flight Academy … helping new pilots answering questions sorting logistics building up connections … solving conflicts…
9 months I never argue with people, never brake hearts… when I see a conflict I seek for privacy to talk about and I took everything with bona fide … Be honest straight and clean
I did wish RvB as open door corporation say welcome warmly everybody even for the old management members.Who are also hurt me in the past a lot… but I never hold grudges or no hard feelings …
But my will around this vetoed by people currently holding the ropes of RVB… And reason was their personal conflicts and revenge … and they did kick so many players because of their own ego and power trips…
Same people … who were also far older RVB members than me, same people who know each other and “friends” I was just an outsider for them who hold all RVB shares in her hands ( HOW DAREE MEE ! ) . After all those hard work for years for the sake of RVB spirit and tradition… RVB begin to gain prestige again it has heartbeat activity increasing and finally had begin to get some attention and hope for prosperity… SO CEO seats and shares become precious gain… And such a heresy it has been in the hands of “ Bluelysian “ and that little ■■■■■ has been having too much love and care…
That was a problem for them that must be solved swiftly!
Trap was waterproof… they went around and told lies about me … smear campaign with a pinch of psych war tactics… They had invested and used RVB s assets and sources to finance their plan … Assets and sources I gave to their service so they can use for behalf of RvB…
SO simply they stab me with a knife made of my own flesh and bones…
They went to one of RvB elders… normally you can’t see him around … but that person holds server host and rights for all RVB forums ( which contains over a decade of history and legacy of the RVB ) and web page…
As a result, he came to me and based on lies he had been told ( for example… he had been told im planning to kick one of them )asked me to hand over RVB shares…
I was choked… Reality sank very heavy. That what they had been doing… how much I had been blind…
If I haven’t give the shares and kick the people who plotted this … then they will look like right in front of the community and all their lies will be legitimized… and look like truth …
This is how you can force a man to leave who has habited to act on honor and dignity. It doesn’t have to be always a gun to someones head…
After that they ban me from RVB discord… they made a quick community meeting and in that meeting, they told everybody that : SHE LEFT US! She had been mentally and Physically sick … tired worn out…Leave her alone!
Discord ban result of great butchery with my personal direct messages people couldn’t reach out to me and I couldn’t reach out people anymore due to not sharing same server… When they write something to DM they got the message like this person either blocked you ect ect… and this was the first wave on their isolation and alienizing plan…
I did get into local and asked why did they do that why did they need… they told people to block me ingame … I even didn’t know who blocked me who not why when …
Recently I have learn they discard and kick another dedicated RvB veteran after using him… they have used him for set things uphe used lot of time and efforts… then kicked him later blackmail him and life threats to shut his mouth and disappear… ( same person who also threatened me aka friend of CCP head of London aka the one scouting me on LinkedIn ) Familiar?
I did do my best to explain myself to the community but I failed… Most of them turned their back to me instantly and that was beyond my understanding … herd psych was real and alive …
I do not regret for all my efforts to open peoples ayes… I want them to make their decision based on truth… But I realized most of them doesn’t give any ■■■■ and they don’t care… some of them was with me but they couldn’t open their mouth because everybody who asked “Why blue left ? “ kicked and banned from RVB… that include also my brother… And if someone ask… answer was don’t know … drama drama… she left us… but they never give a proper answer to people who ask…
I had many friends in EVE first time they come back game they check in with me… And these people also get the similar answers but no further help or info…
I have been always act on love and compassion as well as in real life …I do always valued honesty … and after what these old RVB leaders done I trusted the heart of community … I was wrong…
I loved those people and cared them … it was like home for me and family… it was like… no matter what happens… what has been told and done… we could find a way to home and take all light hearted… It was a video game yes… but also a game we shared lot of laughters cheers and helping some of us in our real lifes most difficult times… and give us an outlet…
I lost my cheers… I still love EvE a lot… 2 months passed but my pain is still there…
I have cancel my subscriptions already… But its really hard while my husband sitting near by me and playing EVE and im listening fleet comms and their talks… My brother calling me over discord he talks non stop about market economy and all crazy isk making …
Even they know how much im in pain they just cant help it… people still writing to me asking questions fits, tactics… I will possibly keep hosting more EVE players for dinner invitations…
Yes I do quit EVE with my heart bleed .I didn’t want it .But I have to… because simply RVB spirit and tradition has been only way I do breath in this game… And only way that I can exist …
What is hurting me most… People who did this… They also know this how much it means to me and how much pain inflict… but they did it anyway… for their greediness… for their ego…
for having seats and Titles …
In a Video game… Real life threats… smear campaigns… blackmailing to shut my mouth … this is too much for having a title in a video game… But I think they need it … they want it that much…
For future of RVB… that was a project … actually i have shared with CCP… what i have planned for RVB and project on the rails… think like a skyskreaper high… they thought oh its done we dont need her anymore…That much short sighted… LOL …they just left me while building the second floor… Thanks to GOD better early than late for me…
And im soryto fail you nitro… and all other pure spirits with heart and mind on right place…
Im truly sory please forgive me , i couldnt …
never hold grudges… so all fine… only I don’t have any blessing for some people who loose their perspective that to carry these lvl of real life harassment … I m just leaving them to hands of beautifull God I believe…
here is discord invite for a channel who would like to contact me for the future. i lost eve but i dont want to loss my friends too …
Well I lost EVE .
After a decade… after everything I poured my heart and mind …
While leaving… I would like to say… NO hard feelings… thank you for sharing all cheers and banters …
Good fight !
and yes I love to mine and now when i live in Nul ofc love the fleets and the nulsec life.