My immediate circle of gaming friends was, for the most part, perfectly normal and average. We weren’t prone to outbursts, tantrums, or arguments, the majority of our conversations being calm even when there was action on the screen. Everyone got along, and we were all pretty happy with being an average group of gamers (unnamed members of the group will receive the generic monikers of M1-3). Let me tell you this for context, before I came to EVE I wasn’t used to people being toxic or childish over basic game play style choices. I also suffer from a chronic case of morbid curiosity. I also do not, have never, and don’t see the point in giving a ■■■■ about what others think, I mind my business, they can mind theirs.
This happened when a member of our gamer group (henceforth referred to as EG, entitled ganker) told us about EVE, she thought it was simply the best, and was the type who was very confident in her assertions. Her BF was also a member (hereafter referred to as PB, poor bastard), and encouraged us to give it a try to at least show her that we tried her suggested game. Some of you might think of him as a bit of an enabler, but honestly he became as much a victim of EVE’s toxic pvp mentality as any of us, can’t have been good for their relationship. It started when we logged in to create our first characters.
EG: “Ok everyone, when it comes time to choose your race, pick Caldari, so we can start near the areas where we hunt people.”
M1: “I kinda want to be Amarr.”
M2: “Me too.”
Me: “Gallente looks good to me.”
EG: “Don’t be silly guys, if you don’t start near me i’ll have to wait longer before you get here so we can kill people.”
Me: “I don’t really like diving into PvP on day 1 of a new game, I prefer to learn first.”
EG: “That’s stupid, everyone pick Caldari like I said.”
PB: “I think I want to be Amarr too though…”
M3: “Me too!”
At this point I could tell EG was already starting to get agitated, but she dropped the topic after we created our characters and started the tutorial. Turns out EG had been playing EVE for a while, and had picked up some bad habits, her EVE friends had told her that everything besides PvP was pointless and stupid, and she embraced this mentality. So, i’m not here for an ethics debate, but I don’t like mindless pvp, especially non consensual PvP in open world games. She demanded we dump our 1m skillpoints from the new player link into specific skills so we could form a suicide gank fleet together. I refused, I knew this would set her off but again, i’m not the type to just throw all my weight into PvP day 1, especially not mindless PvP where we wander around looking for players who are afk or otherwise helpless. Several members of our circle of gamer friends feel the same way, it’s one of the reasons we get along so well, did I mention most of them also share my “no shits given” way of thinking? Love those guys. They were perfectly capable of making their own in game choices, and they did. M1 decided to try mining, M2 started on exploration, those both seemed fun, but I loved how huge the EVE marketplace was, and said I was going to try making Trade into a career.
Once we told everyone what we were doing, it emboldened PB and he stepped out of line saying he wanted to be a space trucker (hauler). EG was NOT. HAVING. IT.
EG: “You are supposed to be doing PvP with me, we are going ganking!”
PB: “It doesn’t seem like anyone wants to do that, can’t we do some of these missions instead?”
EG: “Ganking is the best, the only thing that matters in EVE is PvP.”
PB: “I still want to try something else.”
EG: “You won’t like it.”
PB: “I’m sure I will.”
EG: “You don’t know what you’re talking about!”
PB: “I know what kind of play styles I like.”
EG: “Well you can’t do that.”
PB: “Yes, I can.”
EG: “I said no!”
PB: “Well i’m doing it!”
EG: “You always do PvP with me!”
PB: “Because it’s your favorite and you make me… I don’t even like PvP!”
EG: “Yes you do, it’s your favorite.”
PB: “I want to be a space trucker!”
EG: “Damnit PB just do as I say!”
PB: “No, space trucker!”
M3: “Holy crap they have wormholes in this game… i’m gonna do exploration too!”
EG: “You can’t do that, exploration sucks.”
M3: “Yes, I can.”
EG: “I’m the one who knows this game and that means I know best!”
The whole time this is going on I am listening to them go off on each other like watching the pre-match interview in wrestling. Back and forth, with the pitch of her voice getting more and more shrill with each sentence. I was fairly certain that when she logged out a cloud of bats would have been summoned. I’m just listening at this point and eating a sandwich.
We all go about our business in the game with EG’s complaining now down to muttered grumbles, until we all seem to be enjoying our chosen career paths too much for her tastes. We’d finish a mission, look through our loot, discuss, then move to the next, each time with EG chiming in that we needed to come fleet up with her for a gank roam.
EG: “You guys don’t need to do any more missions!”
PB: “But I want to do more…”
EG: “But I said no.”
PB: “I’m an adult, I can play the game how I choose to play it.”
EG: “No, you can’t.”
PB: “Just tell me why I can’t keep doing distribution missions?”
EG: “Because I said so, you aren’t listening to me.”
PB: “I’m enjoying these missions and I want to do more.”
EG: “You wouldn’t be enjoying them if you came to gank like I said!”
PB: “Yes, I would, I always enjoy questing more than you do, and these are fetch quests IN SPACE. Tonight i’m doing more quests.”
Me: “Yaknow, trading and hauling really overlap a lot, I think i’ll come help you PB.”
EG: “No, you guys have done enough PvE.”
Me: “Nah, I really think I want to do more with PB.”
EG: “Well you are WRONG!”
Me: “You seem upset.”
EG: “That’s because you people aren’t listening to me!”
Me: “Yes, we are, we just don’t care. We want to keep playing this huge game in the way we find most enjoyable.”
M1: trying not to laugh as he chimes in “You’re not helping, Me.”
Me: “I think you want to come haul with us too, heh.”
At this point nobody is still playing and everybody is stifling laughter as they listen to this absurd exchange on the team speak channel. Things were getting near our normal wrap up time, but none of us felt particularly tired, rather, highly entertained and wanting to stay up a bit.
Me: “Hey M3 is exploration fun? Is it cool inside the worm holes?”
PB: “Oh yeah M3 is doing wormholes… maybe we should group up and do one together?”
M3: “Sounds sweet guys, i’m in system X.”
M1: “I kinda want to get in on this too.”
M2: “Me three, come on EG, didn’t you want to fleet up, let’s do a wormhole together!”
EG: “NO! We are not doing a wormhole, PB and I are going to bed so EVE is done for the night.”
M1: “Uh… no, it isn’t?”
EG: “Well i’m leaving, and you guys are guests of mine, so you should leave too.”
M1: “You can leave if you want, but the rest of us are going to keep playing.”
EG: “You have to leave when I say so, I play this game regularly, you’re just guests.”
M1: “Yes, we accepted a game invite, that doesn’t make us your slaves.”
EG: “It’s MY GAME! I invited you guys to play so you owe me!”
M1: “I don’t care, people can play how they want, they don’t have to come PvP with you, honestly most of the time we end up carrying you anyway, so constantly badgering us to PvP is getting old.”
EG: “I don’t get carried, it’s you guys stealing my kills!”
M1: “You run on top of your own grenade throws and kill yourself…”
EG: “Not ALWAYS!”
And that, ladies and gentlemen, was how it continued on until PB reluctantly logged off of team speak to face his tongue lashing from EG. And that is a perfect example of the toxic “only PvP matters” mentality that is way too common in EVE. Wow, this story was so offensive to gankers that they used all their alts to report it.
And yes by the way, I DO have a ganker tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It’s for the ladies’ eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they’re within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
