Rumors! Gossip! Tabloids!

"-It shouldn’t appear out of the ordinary for anyone when I use this position to provide beneficial life advice for those that come to see me!~ As such, I would like to take a moment to do just that! < clearing throat > … Drink some water… No seriously! Have a glass of water! What? Were you expecting me to mumble on some cryptic message that has more symbolism than clarity? No! It’s just that simple! Drink some ■■■■■■■ water! I’m fully aware that many of you love a good party after a mission that has all the different types of drinks mixed with various enriching ingredients that just invite you to consume more and more!-

-And I’m all for it! I want everyone here to enjoy themselves! Drink within reason maybe, but don’t feel ashamed if you don’t from time to time! All I am advising is that all of you practice discipline when it comes to keeping hydrated when engaging in the usual festivities. Alcohol is a diuretic! What’s a diuretic? A type of substance that increases your urine production! So when you have to go piss after drinking, it’s not necessarily because you drank a lot of alcohol, and more so that you consumed something that has rapidly increased the rate your body produces urine! Which! In turn - removes water from your body at a faster rate and leads to dehydration… And that? Is unacceptable! We owe it to our bodies to discipline ourselves into replenishing any lost liquids after enjoying alcoholic beverages. And before any of you shrug this off as something insignificant, allow me to just continue this tirade and further explain just why it’s issue that everyone here should take seriously. Do you know some symptoms of dehydration? Allow me to list a few!

  • Headaches
  • Nausea
  • Constipation
  • Dizziness
  • Confusion
  • Tiredness
  • Irritability
  • Muscle cramps

ALL of these things should be seen as a liability! Dehydration is an insidious enemy that must be fought against within the Guristas’ ranks! No Gurista should ever have their mission complicated with any of these factors that could hinder their performance. There should be no snipers that experience drowsiness aiming down a scope. No dropship pilot unde a state of dizziness when landing and absolutely no instance under any circumstances should the commander of a raid force be suffering from a kidney stone passing all because they failed to keep themselves hydrated! So please, the next time you’re sitting in a bar after a successful mission and you had maybe one to many tropical warpscrews, have a glass of water! Have three! And don’t just stop at alcohol consumption! Be sure to drink water periodically! Drink it in the morning! Before training! After training! Before a mission and most certainly after it! Hydration is the most important and easiest ritual you can make apart of your daily life! So please! Just drink some water! You’re doing yourself a favor!

“…W-What if i don’t like drinking water?”

“You better start liking it!”

    • Windchime Guru Suha Raibuya (And audience member) speaking before a crowd gathered in a hanger inside the Guristas Production Shipyard in 6NJ8-V