Rumors! Gossip! Tabloids!

[Julian_Flavours]

6th December YC123

Luminaire VI (Gallente Prime) - Moon 17 - Aboard the station Casus Belli

Alarm sirens are blaring as the structure’s integrity is failing. Two women are rushing to pack their belongings, both have blonde ‘Remilia’ style bangs.

“What do you mean we need to evacuate?! I though Julian said his love would protect us.”

“That’s what I was told! Can’t you hear the explosions outside?”

I thought it was a training exercise. My husband is out there!”

“He was one of the fighter pilots, wasn’t he?”

“He is one of the fighter pilots but it’s been too long. Have none of them returned? Do you think something has happened to them?"

“He’s fine, he’ll be fine. We have to think about what we are going to do. There should be escape shuttles ready or something. Julian is saying that some of us could board his Yacht if we had enough to buy a ‘golden ticket’. I’ve got no chance, I spent my entire inheritance to join him.”

“We sold our family home, I’ve nothing to offer! Oh, gods what’s going to happen to us?!”

“Quick, we need to get there, see if we can find a way off this station.”

At the Hanger. A repeated message of Julian’s face is being broadcasted on a projector.

“My precious fans! Our beloved Remilia has shown us what true Love is! Isn’t it beautiful? But wouldn’t you like to see it from a better view? I’m here to say you can. But alas, I only have so much space on Cupid’s Cumulus for those most devoted to Love and most importantly to me. My most trusted guards are on standby who will happily take stock of what value you place in me, and you’ll be given a golden ticket. Then escorted aboard and there you can bask in the warm embrace of Love.”

[Faith_Griffiths]

08 DEC YC123

Mehatoor VI - 24th Imperial Crusade Logistic Support

Baseliner fans and station crewmembers alike are abuzz with rumors of Faith Griffith’s alleged involvement in the production of the now-banned holoreel “The True Emperor”. Imperial Citizens began to notice similarities of appearance and themes in a supporting character, ‘Chastity’ and the SFRIM pilot. Longtime followers have noticed Nauplius’ obsession with Neophyte Griffiths’ hips, going so far as referring to her on Local Communications Frequencies as “Our Lady of the Blessed Hips” and suggesting she attempt to attain Sainthood for the miracle of what he described as her “impressive waist-to-hip ratio”.

Following the release of the holoreel box office flop, Ms. Griffiths changed her appearance not once but twice, in what appeared to be an effort to distance herself from the production. Were she uninvolved, would she really be going through this much trouble to change her image?

[Nauplius]

2021.12.10
ATLANINS III - IMPETUS PUBLISHER, EVERYSHORE

Ni-Kunni actress Amirah Damali recently gave an interview to the Gallentean holoreel press regarding her role in the recent production The True Emperor. The holoreel, funded by notorious capsuleer Nauplius and his Sedevacantist Church, bombed at the box office on the weekend of its release but recently recovered based on ‘so bad it’s good’ word of mouth along with increased appreciation for Amirah’s role as the Emperor’s sidekick ‘Chastity’, a Ni-Kunni with gigantic hips. As 2D and 3D Chastity memes have flourished on Galmet, the Sedevacantist Church has altered its advertising for The True Emperor to place Miss Damali’s Chastity character at the forefront.

Miss Damali proudly told the press that she performed all her own stunts on The True Emperor, including the hip-checks so popular among Galnet memers. Of her recruitment to the project, she said that talent agents never asked her to read more than a line or two at her auditions and instead took precise measurements of her waist and hips, whose size the actress was required to maintain throughout the production by means of a strict diet. Regarding her future plans, Miss Damali continued that as a result of her character’s popularity, plans for The True Emperor’s sequel have been put on hold in order to make a Chastity-centric spinoff instead. She said little of the upcoming holoreel’s plot, but teased that ‘hips aren’t the only weapon in Chastity’s arsenal’. Although Miss Damali said that her agent had received calls from ‘every maker of hip pads in the Federation’ regarding endorsements, all were turned down lest anyone think the actress’s hips were anything except 100% natural.

The Amarrian Orthodox Church, Sedevacantist declined to confirm its production of a new holoreel starring Amirah Damali but said only that ‘fans haven’t seen the last of Chastity’.

[Lauralite_Anne_Brezia]

A: Jericho, wake the ■■■■ up.
J: Well well… look who’s using the low band relay this time.
A: You’ve seen the development?
J: Hard to miss a ■■■■■■■ supercap translation.
A: Quite… It made it safely inside the perimeter.
J: Surprised they didn’t just cyno it into the perimeter directly.
A: The ■■■■■ chose the location for construction well. The main platforms are in a band of deadspace. This does make some things more difficult for the logistics with larger vessels coming and going though…
J: Alright, new question. If there’s that kind of bottleneck, why the hell wasn’t SARO and DERAIL up their ass like stink on fedo.
A: Shock at her being audacious enough to do so without a heavy escort maybe.
J: Maybe… hm… catching up on some galnet junk, looks like one of the big boys, Drust, may also have the hots for her.
A: What ■■■■■■■■ tabloids have you been reading?
J: Doesn’t matter… anyway… two supercaps, multiple carriers… a swath of modified intercept subcapitals… Those defensive emplacements… This is getting much more rocky Ali.
A: I told you not to call me that.
J: I don’t think you realize how deep we’re in right now. Or maybe you don’t want to acknowledge it, but its pretty ■■■■■■■ deep. Three of my informants went dark over the past week. She fuckin’ knows.
A: By the Luminaries…
J: You really believe in that crap?
A: We all handle the consequences of our work in our own ways… doesn’t matter though, to quote you.
J: Eh… fair. So… What’s the play. I’ve got a card… maybe… but… yeah after that I’m off-grid a while.
A: Can’t you prop up the FRoRV? Supply them materials, mercs?
J: I could. Doesn’t mean I should, considering the legal ■■■■■■■■■■■ that’s brewing right now. Chances of it paying off isn’t high enough…
A: …what’s that card you have then.
J: Turns out… Serpentis really have it in for little miss ■■■■■.
A: What in the flying ■■■■ Jericho? If this gets tapped…
J: Easy, easy… just… talking hypotheticals.
A: Hypotheticals that could cost me my position if traced.
J: Just consider it Ali… look, none of us are clean working the way we do.

[Ax_l_Thorne]

A grainy holo-image, depicting what appears to be a very muscular man, wearing what could only be described as a leather halter X shape harness, a black leather cop-like cap, a pair of sleek skin tight leather pants ending in high top combat stompy boots. On one hand, is a kind of riding crop, and on the other a leash connected to a spiked collar which appears to be boarding the Cupid’s Cumulus. Julian Flavour’s infamous love boat.

[Lunarisse_Aspenstar]

In a show of loyalty to the Empress Catiz I of the Holy Amarr Empire, Khimi Harar pilots were seen in force in support of the Emperor Family in the Megeh constellation throughout 12th and 13th of December YC 123 engaging in tasks assigned by Security and Distribution Agents of the Emperor Family.

(Photo credit: Chapter Master Shaikar)

[Avio_Yaken]

Hello User!

The Venal Prosperity Agency is excited to announce that after the continued success of the 2nd issue of Bad Bunny - Auditions for issue #3 of Bad Bunny are now officially open!

Auditions will remain open for the remainder of the month, or until we have met our desired number of participants for this next issue. Regardless, the 3rd issue of Bad Bunny will drop no sooner or later than January of YC 124.

We look forward to seeing the applications roll in from those wishing to be a part of Bad Bunny’s future as we approach the new year! May another year of prosperity reign in our region of space!

[Julian_Flavours]

Julian Flavours named SPACE Person of the Year for YC123

The CEO and Chief Editor of SPACE magazine had this to say.

For nearly a century, SPACE has named a Person of the Year the individual or group who most shaped the previous 12 months, for better or for worse. Person of the Year is a marker of influence, and few individuals have had more influence than Flavours in the Federation, and potentially outside too.

[Faith_Griffiths]

15DECYC123

JAN VI - CONCORD Academy (Detention Area)

“… So then I says, ‘That’s evidence! You want to get charged with tamperin’ with a crime scene, Sweetheart?”

“How much you think we’re gonna get for them anyways?”

“Fifty!..No… At least a hundred kredits! We’ll be set for life! This guy’ll pay anything.”

[Niina_Eskola-Fae]

INTERCEPTED COMMINQUE FROM SKARKON, 12.24.123

COMPOSITE MESSAGE TAKEN FROM MULTIPLE CDMA SOURCES

---

Compared against traditional trans neural brain scanner capsuleer technology or subcompact TEBS, “fifth lobe” warclone implants are proven to act as a much more effective and resilient vessel for non-standard cybernetic augmentation. By taking advantage of the “brain-in-a-box” engram capability of warclone implants to circumvent traditional biological requirements, we can substantially reduce the risk of wetgraving or psychological trauma associated with extreme body dysmorphia so long as deployments are limited in operational length and scope.

Information gleaned from recovered assets from the Crimson Harvest conflict, as well as building off research previously pioneered by the Hematology Advancement Program has allowed us to expand on Operation Jólakötturinn. Previous years subversion operation in Jita 4-4, while unsuccessful in the destruction of strategic infrastructure, served as proof of concept that can be extrapolated for expanded operations this year.

Seasonal superstition and cultural myths perpetuated by InterBus PSA campaigns provide the perfect opportunity to test nonstandard augmentations matching “Yoiul Clones” archetypes in a live PSYOP environment. Despite comments from cooperating agencies of the “cartoonish” and “unnecessarily convoluted” nature of the project, I believe the very absurdity of the concept proves its merit as a tool for subversion in Ancient Domains. I have no doubt that the results will prove interesting if nothing else.

[Avio_Yaken]

I’ve found it… unavoidable when it comes to having my words recorded and transcribed. Why I even see this as something to ‘avoid’ is simple - I don’t wish to teach a spirituality that I’d bond by words made in the past. What I mean by that is I want wayism itself to be an ever evolving spiritual understanding that doesn’t sit and rot like the Caldari’s horrifically narrow sighted and outdated interpretation.

I speak critically not only of Caldari Wayism, but any other religion or spirituality that binds itself to some… tome! Or clings to some “tradition” to justify their stagnated development. What good does some book of holy words do beyond acting as a source of rigid spiritual oppression over it’s followers? What are ‘traditions’ if not some excuse to cling onto old and archaic practices that acts as a barrier for progression.

Society evolves, technology evolves, entire ecosystems on planets evolve and humanity-it-■■■■■■■-self evolves! I see no reason why our spirituality should not also evolve with the times! To not dwell on matters millennia ago and to look at the world we have today and find new interpretations! I want to raise you all up spiritually for a world you live in today and not shackle you down to an understanding made in societies that are practically alien with how primitive they are compared to what you see now.

The future is inevitable, we must not be afraid of it. Nothing it holds will shake your spirituality because we will be ready to evolve with it… Such is, the way…

• Suha Raibuya, speaking at the Windchime Shrine aboard The Rabbit’s Warren in 6NJ8-V

[Lauralite_Anne_Brezia]

A: Delta flight took a beating boss…
L: …How many.
A: Five of ten destroyed… four heavily damaged.
L: Cloning triggers?
A: Two. Other three, we have confirmation their burners fired, but their infomorphs never made it into the buffer. Can only assume Red Troop has them on ice.
L: how did it happen?
A: Delta was diverted from their usual patrol pattern near Eugales V and Argallant after catching a distress signal from a supposed bulk transporter. Shadow Serpentis attacking, and trying to disable it. They got Auth from the OY tower to warp and intercept. Lead into a deadspace pocket after that, not all too unusual.
L: Alright… was it a legitimate distress broadcast?
A: Seems so… Transporter was taking fire, as described. Delta tore the attackers to shreds, and were in process of verifying that the transport was still functional when three pacifier class Covert Ops and two Enforcer class Force Recons decloaked. Opposite side from the acceleration gate landing zone. Rocket and RLML designs.
L: They were just watching the transport be attacked…
A: Yes ma’am. Seems so. Probably thought it’d draw out one of the squadrons… and they were right.
L: The pilot of the transport, and its crew?
A: in custody and undergoing debrief, they surrendered themselves willingly after escaping the fire zone.
L: I want a background check on all of them… but I doubt they’d have handed themselves in if they were willingly Red Troop’s decoys.
A: never know these days…
L: what about the Red Troop ships?
A: Delta gave it a good swing there. Two pacifiers slagged, one of the Enforcers was crippled… but the crew burned all the databanks and comp systems before abandoning ship. Not much to salvage there other than the outward hull and basic weapons. The other Pacifier and Enforcer faded off after sustaining moderate damage. We assume their FC was still cloaked and observing, as a muted warp signature was detected exiting the pocket when the last two peeled off.
L: This is… less than enthusing Agonarch.
A: No ■■■■ boss…
L: In the future, if a squadron diverts to intercept a general distress, I want a secondary squadron scrambled to screen… We can’t have other squads getting caught offguard like this.

[Lunarisse_Aspenstar]

Region: Devoid
Constellation: Kisana
System: Mehatoor
Station: 24th Imperial Crusade Logistics Support

INTERNAL COMMS

A WARNING KLAXON SOUNDS, A VOICE INTONES: 15 MINUTES UNTIL DISASSEMBLY AND COMPACTION

A WARNING KLAXON SOUNDS, A VOICE INTONES: 5 MINUTES UNTIL DISASSEMBLY AND COMPACTION OF GOTTIN’S LAMP - VACATE IMMEDIATELY

WITH CLACK AND CLICK, THE MYRIAD ROOMS OF THE CAPSULEER CORPORATION’S OFFICE COMPACT FOR SHIPMENT AND THE MODULAR PIECES HEAD ON A CONVEYOR BELT TO A PROVIDENCE

[Jorianna_Gallaire]

Artpiece considered Lost resurfaces in Caille’s Museum of Modern Arts.

See & Hear, Intaki, 1/1/YC124

A mural from the hand of none other than Saccade Amir has found its way back into the limelight. It is well documented that the piece with the Olives was a gift from the Artist formerly known best for her Trigonometry exhibit a year and a half ago, to the proprietor of the Gallente Lounge, none other than the Illustrious James Syagrius.

The piece itself depicts an Olive orchard, with most olives decorated with pained and screaming faces, uncovered genitalia and other expressive artistic licenses that Miss Amir is best known for. It decorated the Lounge for a good half a year before mysteriously disappearing from the Capsuleer-haven’s bar overlooking the Crystal Boulevard.
Rumour has it that much to Miss Amir’s dismay, no one has conferred with the artist about the painting’s fate. The management of the Gallente Lounge has been tightlipped and gave no comments whether or not the security footage showed any evidence as to the paintings abductors.
Was it painted over? Was it lasered off? Who knows. Today word reached See and Hear, that we might finally know what became of the piece best known as ‘Screaming Sexual Olives’

Now however, a large piece of armoured concrete wall has appeared in the Caille Museum of Modern Art. The fragment of wall is encased in a clear resin block, showing a depiction of sexually active Olives. It is even more strangely, the centerpiece of an exhibition on Street Art. Among other well known graffiti artists, whose pieces have all been cut out of the buildings and walls they were placed on originally, Miss Amir’s stands out as being one of few artists in the exhibit whose Identity is known.

Experts have congregated at the exhibit to try and determine whether or not the concrete is a match with the Aidonis Elabon building’s, and whether or not the paint and techniques used are similar to Miss Amir’s. They seem unanimous in their decision that this is, in fact, an Amir Original.

The director of the museum could only express their gratitude to whomever donated the artwork but wouldn’t reveal the identity of the gracious donator. ‘’It is amazing to have a piece from someone as well known as Miss Amir in our collection.’’ was the director’s closing remark.

---

Come see the Street Art Exhibit in the Caille Museum of Modern Art. From 1-1-YC124 through to 1-6-YC124 Follow the [Link] to order tickets now!

Jorianna Gallaire Director See and Hear, Capsuleer Affairs Correspondent

[Ekaterina_deSilvestris]

Article in Nakriskaya Gazeta, a news outlet of Nakri, Domain, Amarr Empire, dated 03 January YC124

ENGAGEMENTS IN PATZCHA RESULT IN DESTRUCTION OF INVADER FORCES

A Task Force from the Loyalist Capsuleers of LUMEN and PIE, supported by elements of other EDENCOM affiliated groups, engaged large numbers of invading Triglavian vessels yesterday, resulting in the destruction of numerous of enemy ships and a significant blunting of their offensive capabilities. No losses to enemy action were reported by the stalwart defenders, who held the field, surrounded by the smouldering, disintegrating wrecks of over two hundred shattered adversaries.

Recent combined efforts by organisations supporting EDENCOM actions, both within and outside of the Empire have struck major blows against the sinister enemy, whose inhuman origins can only be guessed at, but whose genocidal intentions are all too clear. Even groups who have, in their ignorance, previously rejected the Word of God and the Beneficence of Her Imperial Majesty have pledged to support Imperial efforts to stymie and turn back the benighted alien tide. The Victory in Patzcha, won through the heroic actions and selfless bravery of the Heroes involved, must stand as a shining example to those few who still refuse to join forces with the true Defenders of Humanity, and who foolishly rejected united effort as the path to Victory and Peace.

It must be remembered too that, though it may be to a lesser degree of glory, all ordinary subjects of Her Imperial Majesty, and those with True Faith in God, all men, women, and children across New Eden, also aid every day in bringing Final Victory over the invader ever closer, be it through diligent prayer, material donations, voluntary enlistment, or vigilant watchfulness for heresy, betrayal, and treachery.

We thank those who fought with such devotion and ferocity in Patzcha, and pray that many more triumphs over the enemy will soon follow.

God Bless LUMEN, God Bless EDENCOM, God Bless Amarr, God Save The Empress!

[Julian_Flavours]

4th January YC124

The One&Only Show

The One&Only Show logo graphic flashes across the screen as various scenes of presenters and past broadcasts are shown in a montage as joyful music is played. The camera begins pointing at the stage lighting and then begins to pan down showing a man in his late 30s with dreadlocks and younger woman with bright blue hair. Both are sitting on one of two sofas on the set.

Nina Brown - Hello and welcome to the One and Only Show, live on Galnet and all other FTL broadcasts across the cluster with Nina Brown and Brett Glory.

Brett Glory - As we lead into the new year of YC124 we bring you a cute little story about a dog befriending baby fedos, scientists will tell us how snow falls in space and the latest capsuleer gossip with Thorpe Towers.

NB - Before all that, our first guest has been causing quite the stir among the capsuleer community. He has won multiply accolades, most self-appointed and has amassed a major following that some would call a cult. He’s with us tonight to talk about his new show. Please put your hands together for Julian Flavours.

The screen behind the two presenters displays a poster of the the tv show, while Julian Flavours strolls in wearing a fluorescent green and purple suit with flashing neon trim. He takes a seat on the same sofa as the presenters, wrapping his arm around Brett.

Julian Flavours - Thank you, Brett, Nina, it’s lovely to be here. I must say, you both look simply ravishing tonight.

NB - Why thank you Mr. Flavo…

JF - Please call me Juls.

NB - Uhh, so Juls, tell us about your upcoming tv show, Doctor Spice is it? What’s it about? What inspired you to write, direct and star in it?

JF - Well, I’m glad you asked Ninny. I was laying by the fire, wearing nothing but my birthday suit. I had the finest Amarrian wine in hand and I was contemplating the space and all that’s held within her bosom. And it came to me, BAM! A completely original idea about a man travelling to through time and space in a DED box named the Love Shack. Armed with just his trusty Love Wand, he travels to distance and not distance universes to solves mysteries and cure broken hearts.

I plan on having this show run forever, and it would be terribly boring if it’s just the same crusty actor, moi, playing the Doctor all the time. So, Doctor Spice is a space lizard who sheds his skin every season. Mainly so he can hide his true identify but for off screen reason so I can carry on doing what I love.

BG - And to let other talent take the role, correct?

JF - Oh, and that too, of course! I’ve made sure to add some cameos in there too, so you might see some familiar faces. But I won’t spoil it for you, shall take a we look?

BG - (That was my line) Yes, lets take sneak peak of your new show, Doctor Spice.

The preview shows Julian dressed head to toe in tweed with an uncomfortable number of scarfs round his neck. He’s acting is subpar, with awkward dialog between the other actors. At one point a cameraman’s leg can be seen sheepishly sidestepping out of shot. Both presenters are gawking as it finishes, in contrast, Julian beams with pride.

JF – I know, I know. Speechless. I expect awards out the ears for this. Maybe even a cross over with SUPER ■■■■POSTING SIBLINGS!

BG – I… Uhh

NB – Thank you? That was something. So, moving on…

The show continues at its usual pace with Julian making comments on everything.

[Nauplius]

A roundup of news items concerning the Amarrian Orthodox Church, Sedevacantist —

Reverend Balash Kavad remains besieged in his former church building in the Lamadent III town of Roussillon, broadcasting sermons to the outside world via loudspeaker. Fr. Kavad has taken up historical ultra-nationalist rhetoric in his speeches, referring to his listeners as the ‘Guardians of Gallentia’ who will save the Federation from what he calls the ‘Minmatar enemy within’. The reverend has personally hoisted the insignia of the Guardians, an ultra-nationalist organization from the early federate era. over his former church’s steeple. Minmatar-rights activists have called upon Gallentean authorities to shut down Fr. Kavad’s preaching and arrest him, despite the looming threat of the Prototype Nuclear Small Arms that Fr. Kavad claims to have in his possession.

. . .

The Sedevacantist Church in the Jin-Mei homeworld of Lirsautton V continues to collect refugees from the church’s banning in Aeman Constellation as well as those fleeing Imperial persecutions. Religious services for the sedevacantist faithful are being performed in the basement of the sedevacantists’ Lirsautton church building, strictly separated from the caste Jin-Mei worshipping upstairs. In contrast to the low-key efforst to provide for sedevacantist refugees, the church has tried increasingly bombastic advertising campaigns to attract the attention of caste Jin-Mei. One recent billboard proclaims, ‘Mixed caste marriages make ugly babies’, complete with a picture of an unhappy looking Jing Ko mother, a Saan Go father, and a suitably ugly baby.

. . .

The Church has released a teaser trailer for its next holoreel, a spinoff of last month’s The True Emperor. Titled The Scent of Faith, the trailer features actress Amirah Damah in the role of ‘Chastity’ delivering hip-check after hip-check to a variety of foes, not only Minmatar but some ethnic Amarr. According to Sedevacantist Church spokesperson Calyce Io, the title speaks of Chastity’s spiritual journey as she discovers the truth of sedevacantism among the web of lies spun by so-called Amarr Loyalists in the present age. The title is also a play on words alluding to the holoreel’s impending release in scent-enabled Aroma 3D theaters. On the comparatively rare occasions she isn’t nude or in underwear during the steamy trailer, Chastity seems to be wearing capsuleer outfits: a Women’s ‘Corsair’ Heels (black), a Women’s ‘Poise’ Pants (black), and a Women’s ‘Avenue’ Shirt (white).

[Duke_Shasta]

The following news article appeared in the 20 December YC123 edition of the Beseth Dunijia TImes newspaper

20 December YC123
by Kaylin West

UNF Opens Embassy in Dam Vishen!

Khaios Merkez was abuzz this afternoon, as Duke Shasta and his fellow nobles held a grand ceremony to celebrate the grand opening of the first foreign embassy on Beseth Dunijia. The ceremony commenced at 14:00 and lasted until 18:00. The ceremony began when Duke Shasta, accompanied by top nobles and diplomatic officials and escorted by a squad of eight Legionnaires from the Dark Wolf Legion and a half squad of 4 men and women from the newly raised Diplomatic Security Corps, informally known as the Embassorial Guards, walked down Khaios Merkez from the sprawling complex of government buildings, formally known as the Jekhti Merkez, that lay at the center of the city and contained the heart of the government and handed over the keys to the embassy to a delegation from the United Neopian Federation. For the next few hours, representatives from the UNF and the Sovereign Duchy gave speeches, celebrating the grand opening and expressing their hopes for a prosperous partnership between the Neopians and the Sovereign Duchy.

Public opinion was resoundingly positive. As one citizen stated, “The Sovereign Duchy is small. We have one planet, and no navy. The Legion is our sole military force, and much of it is deployed elsewhere. We have to depend on pirates for additional military support! Pirates! The Neopians are … not as well known as the Guristas, but hey, they should at least be more reliable, no?” Another citizen concurred, simply stating, “Pirates change their loyalties on the flip of a coin. Empires do not.” However, a few naysayers steadfastly refused to interact with the Neopians, fearing betrayal. One voiced his concerns to the Times, arguing that “the Neopians are led by a capsuleer, one that owns supercarriers. And what do we own? A capsuleer’s personal fleet, of which only a handful of frigates and destroyers are stationed in Venal. And the UNF even has warclones! Warclones! Have y’all heard what warclones are capable of? There’s a reason SARO has Red Troop, ya know?”

From the Neopian delegation, there was much excitement at the opening of the embassy, with assorted ambassadors from a number of the nationstates that make up the non-capsuleer component of the United Neopian Federation, though some consternation was noted over the presence of the noted diplomat and capsuleer director Lauralite Anne Brezia being in attendance, both from select members of the Neopian delegation itself, and amongst some members of the general populace. One delegate from a particularly conservative UNF nationstate asserted that “The manner in which that one conducts herself is perhaps the greatest travesty in all this.” The delegate was quickly rebuked by another member of the Neopian group, downplaying the negativity of their compatriot by stating that, "what he means to say, is that if it weren’t for the Lady Brezia’s impeccable eye for business and diplomatic connection, perhaps her extracurricular activities may be more worrisome”.

In other news:

• UNF - Sovereign Duchy Economic Conference Rumored to Involve Discussions on a Possible Arms for Minerals Deal

• Duke Shasta Ardeind Proclaims the First Ever Prosperous Venal Fair Will be Held from 2nd January YC124 to 8th January YC124

• Prosperous Venal Fair to be Held in Newly Built Open Market Complex

• Guristas Pirates Will be Allowed to Dock at Dam Vishen Spaceport for Lowered Customs and Spaceport Fees and Sell Their Goods to Citizens During the Duration of the Fair

[Julian_Flavours]

Automated mail sent to @Ax_l_Thorne

Dear [INSERT NAME HERE]

We apology for the the awful experinece you have had with [INSERT PRODUCT NAME HERE] and will endaeovrur to asistant you with your problam. Please use [INSERT HOTLINE] hotline where you will spoke to an AI who will narrow down your issues. Once they have targetted your issues you will be directed to a human speekperson who can and will stay on the line until you issue is resvled.

Your customer number is #23,542 with average wait time is 841536 minutes.

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[Yun-Hee_Tight-lips_Yubari]

Logs from Nasreri Local

[ 124.01.18 21:50:01 ] Yun-Hee ‘Tight-lips’ Yubari > Ave, Brother Savnar.
[ 124.01.18 22:05:48 ] Karu Hikipaa > Hello scout!
[ 124.01.18 22:06:08 ] John Summers > o/
[ 124.01.18 22:42:52 ] Nauplius > Hello, Yun-Hee ‘Tight-lips’ Yubari.
[ 124.01.18 22:43:14 ] Yun-Hee ‘Tight-lips’ Yubari > Nauplius. Why are you here?
[ 124.01.18 22:43:50 ] Nauplius > I am here to manage some livestock deliveries. And see the exciting new SFRIM home for myself.
[ 124.01.18 22:44:15 ] Nauplius > How do you like it here?
[ 124.01.18 22:45:20 ] Yun-Hee ‘Tight-lips’ Yubari > It varies.
[ 124.01.18 22:45:35 ] Nauplius > Varies? How so?
[ 124.01.18 22:45:42 ] Nauplius > And do you have a new job yet?
[ 124.01.18 22:48:09 ] Yun-Hee ‘Tight-lips’ Yubari > Some times I like it here more than other times. I have not started with a new job yet, but it looks like I will be doing that within a month.
[ 124.01.18 22:49:31 ] Nauplius > I see.
[ 124.01.18 22:50:03 ] Theodosius Savnar > “Ave, Nauplius. I’m afraid the Directrix is not available at the moment. We are still somewhat settling in, although we had a welcome ceremony and a ship blessing already. I do not think we are ready to receive livestock at this point.”
[ 124.01.18 22:50:28 ] Nauplius > The livestock is coming anyway.
[ 124.01.18 22:50:46 ] Nauplius > Yun-Hee ‘Tight-lips’ Yubari, why don’t you join LUMEN?
[ 124.01.18 22:51:36 ] Yun-Hee ‘Tight-lips’ Yubari > Are you encouraging me to do so?
[ 124.01.18 22:51:52 ] Nauplius > No, I am questioning.
[ 124.01.18 22:53:14 ] Yun-Hee ‘Tight-lips’ Yubari > I do not think I would fit in.
[ 124.01.18 22:54:39 ] Nauplius > Why not?
[ 124.01.18 22:57:10 ] Yun-Hee ‘Tight-lips’ Yubari > Well, I am not of the faith, for starters.
[ 124.01.18 22:57:44 ] Nauplius > Neither is Aria.
[ 124.01.18 23:01:17 ] Yun-Hee ‘Tight-lips’ Yubari > Is the livestock for her?
[ 124.01.18 23:01:31 ] Nauplius > No.
[ 124.01.18 23:01:49 ] Nauplius > Although I have some to spare, if you would like some.
[ 124.01.18 23:05:23 ] Yun-Hee ‘Tight-lips’ Yubari > No thank you. As you have seen, I have no place for livestock.
[ 124.01.18 23:06:08 ] Nauplius > Your hanger offers plenty of room.
[ 124.01.18 23:07:18 ] Yun-Hee ‘Tight-lips’ Yubari > Well, still the answer remains the same: no thank you.
[ 124.01.18 23:09:38 ] Theodosius Savnar > “Sir, we share the station with with Amarr Trade Registry Bureau. Large herds do not mingle well with administration offices. Perhaps you could drop them off at the Kalaakotia factory in system if you must?”
[ 124.01.18 23:10:24 ] Nauplius > Too late, I have contracted most of them.
[ 124.01.18 23:10:40 ] Yun-Hee ‘Tight-lips’ Yubari > Or perhaps on a field somewhere. I don’t think it is nice to keep animals in a hangar.
[ 124.01.18 23:11:25 ] Yun-Hee ‘Tight-lips’ Yubari > You can cancel contracts, I think.
[ 124.01.18 23:12:00 ] Nauplius > I don’t have a ship here that can move so many, either.
[ 124.01.18 23:12:21 ] Theodosius Savnar > “I see. As a yakologist, mr. Nauplius, what are your tips to reduce the smell of livestock and their droppings that will pervade the station?”
[ 124.01.18 23:13:00 ] Nauplius > Bathe them.
[ 124.01.18 23:13:40 ] Nauplius > I have supplied slaves along with the yaks so that the droppings might be shoveled into space.
[ 124.01.18 23:14:07 ] Theodosius Savnar > “I have to admit, a small part of the joy of moving out of Mehatoor, for me, was that we’d be free from the periodical animal stech there. That seems now like a very short-lived joy.”
[ 124.01.18 23:14:22 ] Nauplius > Indeed.
[ 124.01.18 23:15:12 ] Nauplius > Yun-Hee ‘Tight-lips’ Yubari, I will have to think up some other gifts for you.
[ 124.01.18 23:15:45 ] Yun-Hee ‘Tight-lips’ Yubari > Indeed? So you are giving people gifts to inconvenience them?
[ 124.01.18 23:16:24 ] Nauplius > Is your Temple Stone an inconvenience? You seemed to like it.
[ 124.01.18 23:18:13 ] Yun-Hee ‘Tight-lips’ Yubari > I would not call it an inconvenience. Why do you want to gift me thing, Nauplius?
[ 124.01.18 23:19:47 ] Nauplius > You seem sad. Maybe gifts would make you happier.
[ 124.01.18 23:20:13 ] Yun-Hee ‘Tight-lips’ Yubari > Why do you care how I feel?
[ 124.01.18 23:21:37 ] Nauplius > People sometimes care about other people’s feelings, madam.
[ 124.01.18 23:21:56 ] eroelone > feelings are good
[ 124.01.18 23:22:23 ] Yun-Hee ‘Tight-lips’ Yubari > But why care about mine. What have I done for you to earn that?
[ 124.01.18 23:22:57 ] Nauplius > Well, you did invite me to your home, which was very nice of you.
[ 124.01.18 23:24:10 ] Yun-Hee ‘Tight-lips’ Yubari > As I said, that was a gesture of gratitude for your gift.
[ 124.01.18 23:25:15 ] Nauplius > Well, then I have incentive to offer another gift, to get another gesture of gratitude, perhaps? smiles
[ 124.01.18 23:26:29 ] Yun-Hee ‘Tight-lips’ Yubari > You’re making me regret doing so. You can not buy whatever it is you want from me, Nauplius.
[ 124.01.18 23:28:21 ] Yun-Hee ‘Tight-lips’ Yubari > As I said, I consider us even now, and I wish to keep it that way.
[ 124.01.18 23:28:35 ] Nauplius > Very well, I promise that if I do offer another gift, it will not be done expecting any gesture of gratitude in return.
[ 124.01.18 23:30:21 ] Yun-Hee ‘Tight-lips’ Yubari > Than what reason could you have to offer me gifts?
[ 124.01.18 23:30:52 ] Nauplius > I decline to answer.
[ 124.01.18 23:31:51 ] Yun-Hee ‘Tight-lips’ Yubari > Curious.