DATELINE LUMINAIRE. POLITIQUES ET GLAMOURE.
Old Woman Welcomes Aging Gigolo To Presidential Race
Immigrant presidential candidate Mme. Gosakumori Noh today congratulated Mssr. @Julian_Flavours on posting bail, and welcomed the alleged narcotics trafficker to the presidential race.
“Its openness to embracing all walks of life is our great Federation’s greatest strength,” said Mme. Noh, “though I personally prefer drug mules who don’t get caught. Isn’t that right, darlings?”
Pressed to draw distinctions between herself and Mssr. Flavours, Candidate Noh pointed at her proposals to transform the Federation into a consumer utopia, to grant the Intaki an initiative for taking ownership of their own destinies, and to fundamentally restructure the conflict between the Federation and Caldari State.
“My opponent’s proposals, on the other hand, are an unwarranted attack on the capacity of our dedicated police to identify threats. You can’t spell ‘ordered liberty’ without ‘order,’ and Mssr. Flavours’ radical agenda will only increase the influence of shadowy actors in our society. The last thing our great Federation needs is a superannuating adult services provider making it easier for the bog-dwelling, corrupt agents of an insidious Deep Bureaucracy to extend their tentacles even further than they already reach. Speaking of bog-dwelling corrupt tentacles, Mssr. Flavours secured his release on trafficking charges in a remarkably expedited fashion. Who was behind that?”
The circumstances surrounding Mssr. Flavours’ release may warrant further investigation.
“In contrast to the radical agenda of an undeniably pretty socialite who appears to have injured his own hand by punching a wall, my AbsoluteSafety™ Drone Dome Shopping District will strengthen the capacity of our dedicated officers to cement the Federation’s status as Consumer Capital of the Cluster. I do like his poster, though. I will have to have one made.”