Ask Doctor V!

Dear Doctor V;

If you wanted to permanently kill a specific capsuleer, how would you do it?

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Oh, there’s lots of things you could do in that situation. Try luring them in and then stab them with pointy things. That should put them off. Or you could try not flirting with them in The Summit. Or you could just mention already being in a relationship, and they’d be so embarrassed they’ll never mention it ever again.

Well, that’s a thinker, isn’t it ? What with the whole thing about clone facilities being some of the most hardened and secure establishments in all of New Eden. And all those CONCORD rules about stuff and things, that are all about preventing unauthorised access to the cloning & capsule systems of any given capsuleer.

Really, the only method I have seen that has ever had any success, is to fill them with so much shame and self-loathing, that they cancel all their clones and commit suicide. But even then, sometimes, they can return - see Ameriya as an example of someone who committed suicide but came back. Or, in the case of say Anyanka Funk, they somehow manage to float around in the proverbial ether, despite having left the material realm.

So, I’m not sure that what you ask is even possible.

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Dear Doctor V,

What type of demon would you summon to protect yourself against someone who wanted to kill you permanently?

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Well, probably a phantasmal slaver hound. The person wanting to kill you is probably Minmatar, and as such, would have a genetic fear of any kind of slaver hound. A Spectral Hound would thus be doubly terrifying.

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Dear Doctor V,

I’m Gallente! Do I too have a genetic fear of any kind of slaver hound? :blush:
If no, can I kill him? :smiley:

Yours truly,
Me.

((i love this thread :D))

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Oh. My. God! A phantasmal slaver hound! I must have one.

I could probably modify my infomorphic electric Athran karakul… First super project, that. It was difficult to load up all of those wet mainframes and move them out of Araz. Why did I do that?

The spectral slaver hound would exploit vulnerabilities in optical cybernetic interfaces and track its victims through the router webs. That’s amazing!

Or maybe I could use these Triglavian strings I picked up on a whim.

Doctor Valate, would an infomorphic or Triglavian wicker Spectral Slaver Hound be more terrifying?

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I’m not sure that Gallente have a genetic fear of any animal. And you’d run into the same issues as I mentioned before. I don’t think there’s any real way round those.

Probably an infomorphic spectral hound. Since then it could manifest itself in the cybernetic realm as well as the supernatural, and do stuff like leap out of any nearby data device.

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Oh. My. God. I’m on it. I wonder if I could work infomorphic spectral hounds into my Triglavian Hat Maze. I’ve cleaned up some bugs and added laser beams. Excuse me, “disintegrator rays.” Which elevated a whole new group of bugs into prominence.

But Oh. My. God. A spectral slaver hound simulation.

You could be a naked Sebiestor trying to escape from the infomorphic spectral slaver hound; or the spectral slaver hound tracking down the naked Sebiestor in an ancient catacomb…

OH! OH!

Doctor Valate! Doctor Valate!

Doctor Valate, did we murder Silas and stuff her bloody body into a catacomb on Anath?

Doctor V,

How do you win back the affections of a girl after you’ve been foiled in your attempt at the genocidal extermination of all life upon her people’s homeworld?

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Pretty sure the answer to that is “No”. Synthia says you were both at a different planet when you did that kind of thing. So not Anath.

Err, generally speaking, you don’t. It seems pretty clear that she’s not interested, so you should let her go. There’s some phrase about if you love someone let them go, if they love you they’ll return, if they don’t, then they won’t.

So, let her go, and cease trying to impress her by making planets explode.

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Dear Doctor V

Please help me decide what to give my Pilot for his very first Birthday in Eve as his Birthday will be on the 21st May.

Thanks in advance =)

I’d recommend a shiny ship and a fancy hat. Hats ate always good gifts, as they say, “if you want to get ahead, get a hat”.

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Thank you very much Doctor V on that excellent advice.

I had got him a Rattlesnake and a new skin called King’s Ransom (Luecin)
With the Hat though, sort of don’t like any fancy hats so sticking with the shaved head look for now.

question removed

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Dear Doctor V …

… what are these accounts about, people sometimes speak of? They claim to have several characters and I’m wondering if I’m missing out on something interesting.

Am I living under a rock and there’s some new cool game on GalNet?

Thanks!

Dear Doctor V
My two younger brothers have been on my mind as I am concerned about their future progress in New Eden. It would make me very happy for both of them to become full time students at the School of Applied Knowledge.

My question though is please, would it be better if I just sent one or both at the same time and how would be the best way to decide on who to send. Keeping them separated has worked well in the past as they are always fighting.

I strongly feel that they could put all that negative energy to better use like learning technical and engineering skills.

We are a family of Ice harvesting miners and it’s about time both Jimmy and Jason begin their training.

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I think it’s an online dating thing. Not quite sure myself what some people are on about.

Well, if they are both undergoing training at the same time, they could in theory support each other during training. But, as you say, if they don’t always get along then sending one first, and then the other could be a better idea. Though this could end up deepening the rift between the two, if one is seen to be favoured over the other.

So, on balance, it might be better to send them both at the same time, as long as they meet the relevant requirements for the SAK, and with a bit of luck, their competitiveness would cause them to try and out-do each other, rather than actual fighting with each other.

Maybe they just need something to remind them of the importance of family.

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Dear Doctor V,

How would one go about setting their affairs in order in a way that will assuredly please everyone, even those in the peanut gallery?

The peanut gallery are never pleased. If you offered them the moon on a stick, they’d complain that it wasn’t the right colour of stick. Disregard them, and only seek to please the people you care about.

How can I punish the Intaki people for their crimes against the Khanid Kingdom and Sa-Baron Kufail?

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